Let me state from the first, the events of yesterday were unforeseeable and unavoidable. None of the actions taken by all parties were neither premeditated or predictable. However, in case a group of panicked Puritans is already headed to my house, armed with ropes and lit torches, I wish to make the following declaration:
I am not now, nor have I ever been, a witch.
Due to a past Halloween party, I own a hooded, black cape.
This garment is a mass-marketed item, as the manufacturer’s label attests.
To my knowledge, said cape has no supernatural powers but it is a surprisingly warm, yet light-weight garment.
Yesterday, I donned the cape in question prior to walking down my private drive at sunset.
The cape’s hood was in an upright position to keep my ears warm.
Said cape is voluminous and anyone seeing me from a distance would not have been able to make out my “regular” clothing beneath its folds.
When I started my walk, I had no idea the neighbors were entertaining young children on their front lawn. Consequently, I was as surprised as the children when they saw me coming over the hill.
Children can move very quickly when frightened and at the time I believed pursuing them to explain I meant them no harm would only make a bad situation worse. So I flew back, er… returned to my home.
I heartily apologize for any nightmares I may have inadvertently caused. However any kid who panics at the sight of a middle-aged woman wearing a black-cape, sneakers, and horn-rimmed glasses is a kid with too much Halloween on the brain.