Let me state from the first, the events of yesterday were unforeseeable and unavoidable. None of the actions taken by all parties were neither premeditated or predictable. However, in case a group of panicked Puritans is already headed to my house, armed with ropes and lit torches, I wish to make the following declaration:
- I am not now, nor have I ever been, a witch.
- Due to a past Halloween party, I own a hooded, black cape.
- This garment is a mass-marketed item, as the manufacturer’s label attests.
- To my knowledge, said cape has no supernatural powers but it is a surprisingly warm, yet light-weight garment.
- Yesterday, I donned the cape in question prior to walking down my private drive at sunset.
- The cape’s hood was in an upright position to keep my ears warm.
- Said cape is voluminous and anyone seeing me from a distance would not have been able to make out my “regular” clothing beneath its folds.
When I started my walk, I had no idea the neighbors were entertaining young children on their front lawn. Consequently, I was as surprised as the children when they saw me coming over the hill.
Children can move very quickly when frightened and at the time I believed pursuing them to explain I meant them no harm would only make a bad situation worse. So I flew back, er… returned to my home.
I heartily apologize for any nightmares I may have inadvertently caused. However any kid who panics at the sight of a middle-aged woman wearing a black-cape, sneakers, and horn-rimmed glasses is a kid with too much Halloween on the brain.
(Maybe next time, I should carry my wand….)